Hi there living, I'm a GZ braindead staffer sent here to tell you a little bit about ourselves. Now I could give you a heart wrenching, poor little zombie child story that will leave you in tears and make you want to spend all of your hard earned money in our store, but I won't. Instead I will write outside of the box a little, and tell you who we are with a dandy little Q & A session..
Do you really not want us to spend all of our hard earned money in your store?
Of course not. We understand you have to spend some of it on useless, everyday things like house payments and car insurance and school and what's that thing you living eat again...? Oh yeah, food. The rest you can spend here.
Who is Global Zombie?
Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what we are is a webstore on a mission.
Exactly. Now you're listening.
A mission to bring you all the newest and coolest geek toys, gadgets, tees and such at the lowest price possible.
Why? Wouldn't you profit more if you just charged what the "other" guys charge?
Yes. But that would make us un-cool and greedy. Besides, unlike those "other" guys, we have no middle man, we hire just enough multi-tasking braindead staffers we need, and we buy in bulk directly from the manufacturers, keeping our overhead low, providing our customers the lowest prices humanly possible.
What about your warehouse? That's gotta cost money, right?
Right. But warehouses are cheap and usually located in industrial areas in the worst part of the city.
I see. Can we visit your warehouse?
Sure. Just watch your back.
Uh, never mind. You said you buy directly from the manufacturer. Can't I just buy directly from the manufacturer?
Not likely. You have to be a licensed retailer and buy in large quantities to get wholesale pricing. Other than that, they will direct you to a retailer and charge you retail price.
Why would the manufacturer of a product charge me retail price?
C'mon, we're supposed to be the braindead ones here. You should've learned that in high school economics.
Economics? Who payed any attention to economics in high school? Really, why would they charge me retail price?
Well, to put it simply, that's how Capitilism and a free market economy work. I think. Truth be told, I didn't pay much attention to economics in high school either.
Can you tell me a little bit about your founder(s)?
Sure. Global Zombie was the idea of a man who has always been a big fan of cool gadgets, pop culture, and all things "geeky". A fan of classics like "Star Wars" and "The Twilight Zone", to newer shows like "Lost" and "Family Guy". Succesful in the Hospitality industry, he found that he was missing out on a better "quality of life". Working 6 days, 70+ hours a week, coming home to a disappointed dog and lonely wife, he finally had enough. So, he called up his buddy, a "techie" with a his own computer design company, and poured out his "quality of life" concept and GZ idea with him. Well, after a long and awkward pause, his buddy reluctantly agreed and the rest is history. What started as two employees out of a garage and spare room, has turned into a a thriving business with a huge, loyal customer fan-base and just enough employees to head up a formidable zombie defense team!