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Fortune Telling Bacon

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$3.99 (You save $1.00)
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  • Product Description

    Fortune Telling Bacon


    The Mystic Swine Sees All

     From Radiant Farms, the magical land that brought you Canned Unicorn Meat and Dragon Meat, brings you - Fortune Telling Bacon. What is FTB, you ask? Well, remember those little fortune telling fishies you bought when you were a kid? Like those, except bacon.

    Fortune Telling Bacon is easy to use! Simply place the bacon strip in the palm of your hand and your edible desires shall be foretold...

    Moves Left - Chewy Goodness
    Moves Right - Crispy
    Both Ends Move - Sizzling Hot
    Sides Curl - Canadian
    Flips Over - Spicy
    Curls up Entirely - Greasy
    Lies Motionless - Vegetarian

     Each pack of Radiant Farms Fortune Telling Bacon is sealed for freshness. Inside are 50 strips of this magical bacon, each able to provide one or more fortunes. Bring a pack of Fortune Telling Bacon to the office or a party and share the fun, or be forever alone and get your own fortune every morning for 50 days. And because our lawyers say we should be extra clear about this: Do not eat Fortune Telling Bacon. It is not an actual food item and is in fact inedible. The fortunes however are true.

    Product Specifications

    • 50 strips of Radiant Farms Fortune Telling Bacon
    • Created from magical swine in Ireland
    • Place the bacon in your palm to read your fortune
    • Package lists the fortunes for your reference
    • Enough bacon for an office, big party, or a couple months of alone time
    • Note: This is not an actual food item and is non-edible.
    • Bacon Dimensions: 3.5" long.
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